How to help my husband deal with the past of his bad parents?

Without going into the nasty details, my husband chose to break off his relationship with his parents 2 years ago. We tried very hard to make it work with them, but nothing was ever enough. We are both very pleased with his decision, given the circumstances. Ever since his decision to cut them out, he has been thinking more about his loveless childhood with his parents and has gotten more and more upset with how he was treated. He has been to counseling (I've been with him a few times), but I don't think it is helping in this angle yet. In what way can I help him heal from his pain? Thanks for any suggestions!How to help my husband deal with the past of his bad parents?
You can't ';deal'; with it...he needs to accept it as part of his life by being the best parent he can to his children and not letting his past overcome his future...just needs to remember that what happened is in no form or shape his making or doing...that what he should do is be the father to his kids that he had never received when younger...How to help my husband deal with the past of his bad parents?
Good advice, but easier said than done.

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I'd love to tell you that you could help him, but I do not think you can. This journey that he is making is one he has to take on his own. You can be supportive and help him by loving him in a mature manner, but there is little else you can do. All that is and will happen are steps he must take on his own.





You might develop skills that enable him, in other words give him some confidence in himself. But not to your detriment, its inadvisable to try and become his counselor. Therapy takes many years with the right analyst, it does not happen overnight. There is nothing you can do for him except support him. I know, I come from the same sort of background.
just talk with him when he wants to talk just dont push him into talking he will talk to you when he feels he can
Listen to him, let him talk about it and remind him that his past was awful, but his present and future will be wonderful. I know that you cannot take away his pain, but the two of you can decide to make good memories to counteract the bad. Find out what he would have enjoyed when he was young and try to make some of those things happen. We cannot change our past, but we can live in the present and look forward to our future. It is hard not to live in the past when someone has been severely hurt mentally, emotionally, and physically. Time will heal, just remind him that his parents are not worth the energy he uses to despise them. He must forgive them for himself and joy will soon follow.