I am 7 mos preg and my husband won't come to bed. He spends all night looking up porn. i told him it bothers me yet he continues to do it anyway. I am trying to deal with this 3 kids and a family member dying of lung cancer. I am lost and I don't know what to do.How do I deal with a husband addicted to porn?
Of course men are going to defend him. They don't have to deal with 3 kids and be 7 months pregnant.
Your husband is being extremely selfish and what I would do if I were you is unplug the GD internet if he is going to be like that. That is just wrong. I don't mind my husband looking at porn but he respects me if I tell him I would rather him not. He would give it all up for me if I asked him to. You really need to think about what needs to be done. If he is spending hours on the Internet ignoring his pregnant wife, then he has a serious problem. Sounds like he needs some help. He is unconcerned about your feelings and is just plain cruel to do this while your are pregnant and probably feeling less feminine anyway. Tell him he needs to respect your need for him to spend more time with you and less time on the internet or else. You deserve better. There are plenty of men out there that would gladly come to bed with his wife. Give him an ultimatum. Good luck hun and congrats on the baby.How do I deal with a husband addicted to porn?
I have a husband who tells me he thinks of sex every three seconds. LOL The only reason he gets on the computer is to look at porn and sometimes tries to get me to look too. I accepted his behavior, it really didn't bother me, gave him some time, and guess what...He hardly ever looks now. However, if your husband is choosing porn over you...His wife, mother of his children and well ';the real thing'; then I would definately suggest counseling.
Now I found pregnant women very sexy. If I was him, I would stop looking at the porn and focus only on YOU....
hey Heather. great question. thank you.
i think david gave you some great advice but your man has to be willing to take it.
Porn is like booze. it takes more and more and the person it's taking from can't see it.
God is always near. maybe your man will not see the problem?
God does. ask him for help.'
start going to a decent church. again, God will show you.
get with some lady friends who can support you. not guys but ladies.
pray first for yourself to be more like God. then pray for your man. ask God to help him.
it willnot be easy cuz porn does not like to let it's men go easily but if you fight and have support, you may win your man back.
blessing and hope you have an other beautiful kid.
Me and my hubby watches porn, and a lot of it, but if I felt uncomfortable with it, he would have to respect that or someone else would. Try watching it with me. Tell him that ya'll will watch it together maybe 2 or 3 times a week, just to even thing out and share in his entertainment, but watching porn should should be a mutual decision, therefore if he still continues to put this sexual addiction before you then it's time to leave, Good Luck!!!!!
ask him why he is looking up for porn? is there anything troubling him? if no help at all, ask for profesional help like a counselor or something..
Good place to start is the following web site :
Read the stories of some of these women ... this is a very common sense and honest ministry to men and women and their spouses who are affected by the terrible effects of porn addiction.
Good Luck ...
forget about it
all men look at porn
what is the big deal
Seek Marriage and Grief counseling to help you deal with both issues you are facing currently....
Give your husband a choice either the porn or the marriage?
He has to pay a lot of child support? this may make him think twice..
Also your husband must commit to counseling for his addition, do this first along with the marriage counseling before you even bring up divorce..
Best of luck, Congrats on the baby, and I am sorry about your loss...
Stop trying to change his behavior.....it is none of your business! You need to pay attention to what YOU are doing, sweetie! You made a poor choice for a husband and then, to top it off, you get pregnant! You need to seek out a good counselor.....you need it bad! Now go do the right thing!
What's wrong with porn? You resent that your husband is sexual?
Remember he is dealing with the same amount of pressure as you are. Maybe he does it to alleviate some stress. Things could be worse. What if he had to drink too much or even worse get hooked on drugs to unwind.
Don’t get me wrong I am not say what he is doing is right but we all have our different ways of dealing with stress.
Good Luck and all of the best :-)
Can you spell D-I-V-O-R-C-E ??? What an insensitive *** !! And you have a 4 th baby on the way with him. WOW !! You can do so much better girl....find a man that truly loves you and puts you at the top of his priority list or just stay single. It is much better to be alone and feel lonely than to be with a man and feel all alone !!!
File for divorce...you think it's bad now wait until those internet pictures become real women!
If he won't stop it even though he knows you hate him doing it, then I suggest taking drastic action like getting rid of the computer. He is being very selfish and uncaring by keeping on doing this even though he knows it is distressing you.
he obviously doesnt care about you or he would be helping you. Leave him and take him to the bank with child support..that will get his attention.
get rid of him and collect the child support
watch it with him
My guess is your feeling insecure about your body right now and thats why it is bothering you so much. Maybe he won't come to bed because he is afraid having sex might hurt the baby. So he is relieving himself that way. Talk to him and ask. Its the only way you are going to find out. My guess is after the baby is born, he will be looking at you instead of the sites all the time.
any addiction that causes problems in your relationship is a problem
Seek professional help
While you are busy taking care of real life, you husband is in fantasy land. Pack up and go before you have the next baby.
Do you want your sons to think that behavior is ok???
I wish you luck
what is it exactly that you do or dont want him to do ? i nmean you want him to stop watching completely or you dont mind if nhe watches you just need him to help out a little more especially with all the happenings in your life? bottom line nothings going to change if you dont bring it to his attention let him know how you feel and that right now you need his support and that if he could not consume all his time into porn but focus more on the issues at hand
How is him watching porn affecting all that other stuff going on? If he watched porn when you met him maybe you should not have got married.
He thinks there are no consequences. You need to have a talk with him about all the things that can come of his actions:
A waste of time he could be using to make your lives better.
Less desire for you.
Less desire you have for him.
More susceptible to affairs (Both of you).
More money in the pockets of jerks that disrespect women.
A separation by guilt between him and God.
It hurts more things than he thinks. Tell him to look at the big picture, from Gods perspective.
I could tell you how i dealt with this similar thing, but the link below has a number of people who are going thorough it as well.
try looking up porn for yourself. and see how it makes him feel. man of different colour or big man..
and take it from there...
If you are willing to perform oral sex while he looks at the porn then it will solve this problem. I was in a situation like this and that kind of solved the problem. although it was never a problem to begin with for us.