How do I help my husband deal with loss?

My brother in law died this year on my husbands birthday. He was a very good friend of mine and I find myself thinking about him alot and it basically hurts in my heart. My husband and his brother were very close due to growing up with a drunk mom and no dad they only had each other. How can I help my husband deal with this when it hurts so much ? Every time I try to talk about him I just start crying. I loved him very much. I also love my husband very much but I fear losing him now. The tragic circumstances surrounding his death (suicide) occurred about 5 hours after we talked to him and we didn't have a clue. and that makes it that much harder. How do I help my husband deal with loss?
Well first I would like to give my condolences not only to you but to your husband and his family. Now, on to your question, sibling loss is a very tricky thing to try to deal with. I, myself, have never lost a sibling but I have lost very close friends of mine whom I treated as though they were my siblings and it's hard to get over. I think you should give your husband all the love that he needs and also give him some space to breathe. You don't want to be all in his face saying ';How are you doing today? Can I get you anything?'; You know? You have to give him some time to grieve. Also, you need time to grieve also. Just because he wasn't your brother doesn't mean that you need to put your feelings aside and only concentrate on your husband. That wouldn't be fair to you either. I think when you speak to your husband you need to control your emotions. Before you speak to him you need to go any cry it out for about 10 minutes and then immediately go talk to him. When you try to talk to him and then you get emotional its not going to help him, it's just going to get him emotional as well and then you'll be two weeping people rather than trying to find a way to get past this and move on with your life. I know this may sound harsh but death happens every day and the only way for you and your husband to remain sane is to let your brother in law go. I don't think he would have wanted to see you and your husband in this much pain. I think one day you should go visit his grave together and say your good-byes because that's what is needed at this moment. I wish you all the luck in the world. Hope that helped.How do I help my husband deal with loss?
Life on earth is not a rose garden...it's heaven and hell and the Holy Ghost are of the same entity.





Nothing you say or do makes any difference about one person's decision to check out of this God forsaken life.





Either live your life or lose it and that choice is not always up to you....somebody else makes that decision for you. Pay attention to what I just wrote. Words of wisdom.
you should try counseling. but more than that pray for each other and with each other
It's probally best if you don't bring it up for a while until you can do it without crying. One of you has to be a rock even though it is hard. My husband's mother died unexpectly at 56. He didn't have a father so her death was very hard. It has also been a year and he just wants to deal with it on his own. I've read a lot about dealing with death and learned that even though a year seems like enough time to talk about it, it isn't. When someone has been affected dramatically by a death it can take 2-3 years to come around when they start to face the facts. Just be ready when he needs you. If he crys at night, just hold him.
Unfortunately there is no easy answer. Death of a loved one is one of those things that you just have to go through. A year ago is still very fresh. It's very hard to get through this. And as another person said it takes 2-3 years to start coming around. Just be there for your husband and spend as much time as you can being with him holding his hand, showing a lot of affection and telling him you love him. I lost my father very unexpectedly at the age of 56 and had he had just told me he wanted to take me out for my birthday two days before he died, we buried him on my birthday instead but it was so unexpected and I took it so very hard. It took me 2 years to start coming around. I was going through the motions for my older son but was so severely depressed but then got pregnant with my lil son on my Dad's birthday and had to get it together for the both of my children. Time is the only thing that can lessen the pain but if not seek grief counseling for him and yourself too. Like me he may need to get on some anti-depressants if he's finding it hard to live his everyday life.
Oh no. Suicide just sucks. My uncle killed himself several years ago. Too much of the wrong medication and suicidal thoughts do not mix. You never really get over it. You and your husband need to understand that you are alive. You should continue to live your life happy and with joy. Otherwise you are wasting your life and it is like you died along with him. You never know why people decide to take their life. They are so consumed with their own thoughts, their own life that they don't even consider who they are hurting. All they want to do is ease their own pain. There is NOTHING you could have done to stop him. Understand that your brother is happy now and you will see him again one day. Don't hold on to what might have been because you are living in the past. Don't fear losing your husband because you are living in the future. Live NOW.