advice?How to deal with a husband who refuses to let me continue the job i want?
What kind of agreement did you commit yourself too when you said I do? Did you agree that he had the final word about things or was your relationship based on mutual respect for what one another wanted? If your not alright with him deciding this for you then you need to decide if your right to make decisions is more important than your marriage.How to deal with a husband who refuses to let me continue the job i want?
You are his wife - not his daughter; therefore, you can keep your job if that's what makes you happy. After all, aren't you ';letting'; him keep his job? The two of you are partners with equal rights. Explain your thoughts/feelings/opinions to him calmly and rationally and help him to understand that you value his side of the situation but in this case you must follow the leading of your own heart. I'm sure your husband doesn't want you to become an unhappy woman over this.
Ask him to quit his job and tell him you will pick his next career for him. This is what he asking you to do. Police Officers- Authoritarians. Tell him that he is only to show his authority at work where he is supposed to. When he comes home he should realise that you are his wife, not some crim that he has to control. Keep working your job, don't bow down, because if you do you are opening up a huge can of worms. If you give in once, you will have to give in forever and his demands will just get bigger.
I don't know what kind of circumstances you were married under (or in what country), but you have a right to the life that you want. Bottom line is that if it doesn't mesh with what your husband wants, you two need to work things out or split sheets. My husband would never, for a second, even think about uttering something so ridiculous as ';I refuse to let you'; and nor would I. Nobody has that much control over another person. Either you allow this or you don't. It's your marriage. What's next on the agenda of things he refuses to let you do?
Oh sure he wants you to quit the job?
How about this: Ok hubby... but before I quit I want a written,
notarized agreement that if we break up some years down the road that you will pay me x amount of support to make up for the fact
that I gave up my job to be your housewife...
and have a really good lawyer draw up that agreement...
That should shut him up... and you should keep your job.
Never, ever give up your job unless your husband starts
filling up your bank account with the equivalent of your monthly paycheck every month. Then he can have you as his housewife.
Otherwise... this isn't the 50's and you weren't born yesterday.
As his wife you are entitled to submit to him. There has to be a reason for this. Talk to him and don't hold back tell him how you feel and see exactly how he feels. Ask him if he thinks he's being fair. Communication is KEY. If it turns out that you are the unfair selfish one then you know what has to be done but don't make any decision that can harm your marriage. That is a sacred bond that needs not be broken.Oh yeah, and pray for an answer (let go and let God) !
Do what you want.He wants to have control over you.Don't give him that.Do as you please tell him you married him because you wanted a husband not a father!
You do not need a husbands permission to keep a job you love.
Its called divorce! Enjoy your new life and freedom.
The man you deserve would support you in every dream you have!
talk with him about it and try and work something out
And just what will happen if you don't quit?
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