Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How to deal with Husband's Baby Mama?

OK so I married my husband last year and he has a 3 year old with a woman who also has 2 other kids. These kids used to call my husband daddy but since we have been together we have asked that they didn't and that he only have his child! Well that pissed her off...keep in mind they were never married and they were together 21/2 years. Well she is mad because I am black and yes, my husband is white. She calls me the ';n'; word all the time which I have learned to get over..but the biggest problem is no one in his family liked her before and now that he only has his child they think that's wrong b/c they feel he should take care of her other 2. and we totally disagree. Now the family is sucking up to her bringing her around and its pissing me off. They keep forgetting she is the one that tried to have him arrested for abandonment even though he was the one that took her to court to see his child. She had tried to make our life hell and his brothers and sister seem to think that's ok.How to deal with Husband's Baby Mama?
Don't deal in his ';family issues.'; Just stay out. That way when they HANG THEMSELVES WITH THIS WOMAN-YOU WON'T BE THERE TO BLAME THE DAMAGE ON.

Now for the ';word'; That I would not tolerate!!!! When she says the word- your husband needs to stop her in her track in no uncertain terms-and say that kind if disrespect will not be tolerated-in your home or in either one of your presence. If that doesn't work then would document everything she does, and says that is reflective of bad parenting (which does include using racial slurs). Then I would see a lawyer and try to obtain custody of the child. She sounds like an unfit mother to me, plus a bundle of trouble. The sooner she is our of your lives-the better. Plus your husband needs to let his family know that this pampering of her and ';siding'; with not be tolerated either. They need to stay out of his and your business. Or he needs to let them know if they continue they will be cut out of your lives and that includes his child's.

Good luck and I just hope you married a man with -----'s.How to deal with Husband's Baby Mama?
Excuse me? Why in the hell would you do that to a CHILD! And I would be pissed too and think better to every let you or him near any of the children again.

And if you act like it then dont' except to be called anything but.

It doesn't matter how long they were together those kids see him as their dad that is now disowning them because of you.

I think you and the husband should stay out of the picture period. It sounds like the kids would be better off. Shame on both of you!
who knows how to deal with her?

i think he should. he should stand up to his family members. he should stand up to her. that is completely unacceptable. also, you could file charges for her saying the n word to you. nobody should have to tolerate that. that is harassment.
Let his family have at it. Since they think so much of her, they should just move her right into their place.
Hey ';YouAsked';. Sorry to take over the the thread but...

I think the guy does need to take charge with his family. Possibly he should tell them to not bring her to your home anymore if she is causing problems. On the other stuff... see below.

Do you really think you can file charges against someone because they called you a name? The 'n' word may be derogatory, possibly even racist, but it is not illegal. Remember this is the good old USA where someone can be called a coon, jungle-bunny, spear-chucker, spook, spick, beaner, chink, zipperhead, nip, slope, honky, cracker, whitey, roundeye, jew, kike, heeb, dago, wop, guinea, limey, mick, paddy, polack, ahab, raghead, camel jockey or anything else. This is not illegal and the only thing you are entitled to when it happens is you are entitled to be uncomfortable and possibly angry, but it is by no means justification for legal intervention. Remember, we still have ';freedom of speech';.
I know from experience how hard it can be.. I have to deal with my husbands ex who is a ***** too.

it is up to your husband to say to his family to back off, he is only responsible for his child and now he has a new family to take care of. The EX has no right to come over to your home uninvited even if she is with another family member but it is really up to your husband to deal with this. I know its hard.

and my husbands ex is on welfare too while we work, but I look at it this way, when the kids are grown and gone she will have no money coming in and no education or work experience to fall back on.

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