Her school will not allow parents dropping off before 8 oclock in the morning. My fiance has to work and school is in another town, there is no way he could make it to work on time. So he asks me to drop her off (I work at home) We have been doing these for a little over one month now. And it is wonderful.
The other day, the bio mother called and she sounded furious. She said ';I cannot believe you let your little girlfriend drop xx off. You are an unfit father who doesn't deserve her.'; When my fiance asked what makes him an unfit father. She said ';What if she got in an accident.';
Excuse me? I have every reason to believe she just intentionally is making our life more difficult. She wants him to lose his job or something. How do I deal with her? Bio mother is making our life too difficult. How do I deal with husband's ex ?
I agree ex wives are jealous you must be a lot hotter than her.
Are you younger to? Bio mother is making our life too difficult. How do I deal with husband's ex ?
It sounds like she is just being difficult. Unfortunately, I am in a similar situation. It comes down to A: How much you love the person you are with and B: How much drama you can tolerate. Maybe your fiance' can do better than my boyfriend who let his ex-wife ruin our relationship. If he can create some boundries to limit the amount of unpleasantness you have to be exposed to, maybe that would help.
Anytime you get in a relationship with someone who has been in previous relationships, especially when they involve children, you're going to inherit their baggage, which includes psychotic ex-wives, girlfriends, and babymamas.
You have two choices: 1) learn to deal with it and make nice. 2) ditch him and his baggage
Welcome to being 'the evil step mom' :) Nothing you do will ever be ';right'; in the bio mother's eyes. she will find every little thing she can to gripe about you to him.
He just needs to say ';when I have her it's none of your business (fill in blank)';
just leave it and do not respond other than telling her if that makes an unfit parent get a lawyer and see what they say cause she knows she can not do anything she is just jealous cause you are there and she is not
You don't. Your fiance needs to put a stop to this. You are doing nothing wrong. She sounds jealous.
Simple. Jealousy.
She's got issues!
Just ignore her. Unless it is specified in the decree that only HE can drop her off and take her places, you've got nothing to worry about.
Good luck - psychos suck!
Ignore it... She is just panicing. She will get used to the idea and calm down after she sees no harm comes to the child
Let it go- you are doing nothing wrong...she sounds like a peach
I have been dealing with the bio-mom for almost eleven years now. Also for reference i am a Step-mom and a Bio-mom. Best advice I can tell ya is he married her don't deal. Now didn't say it was really easy to do. I hated it when BM would play her cards and it was solely due to me and jealousy or because I have a son or whatever. GGGGGGGGRRRR
Best thing you can do is MAKE DH to be grow a set and tell her that this is the way it has to be. She is going to scream court this court that forever but By law, (unless it states directly in the paperwork) he can get you or anyone for that matter to drop the child off at school. His mom could, His dad could, His sister or Brother could....See What I mean!
Here's the thing. One day,she may realize she's being absolutely ridiculous, bitter, and immature. Or, she may never realize that and until your fiance's daughter turns 18, your life will be a living hell.
Allow me to share a story. My step son lives with my husband and I, and doesn't even do overnights at his mother's house. He only sees her for a couple of hours on the weekend -- usually from 11-2 or 3 Saturday and Sunday. Sometimes he ends up staying with us all weekend though because there are other things he wants to go do like spend time with friends, or birthday parties, etc.
Anyway, when my husband and I FIRST got engaged, there was a weekend where my step son asked his Mom if he could stay home to go to a birthday party. Well, the party was at the movies at 9am and my husband (fiance at the time) was still sleeping. So, I brought my soon to be step son to the party so my husband wouldn't have to wake up. Apparently his mother asked who brought him to the party and he told. The next day, I got ripped a new a**hole because she said ';Next time you want to take my kid away from me on one of the only days I get to see him so you can play little b*tch Mommy let me know. I can clear my schedule for you, not a problem.'; and went on and on. Insecure much?!
Anyway, that was over 2 years ago. I actually get along EXCELLENTLY with her now. I had a talk with her a long time ago -- you should do the same. One day when she came to pick up her son, I went outside and asked to talk to her. (One of the most nerve racking things I've ever done in my entire life!) I said ';Listen. I know I'm not xxx's mother, and I never intended on trying to be. Obviously though, I am going to be his step mother and that's an important role too. I'm not trying to step on your toes and I'm certainly not trying to take your place. I don't have any issues with you. If you have issues with me, I'm sorry for that but I can't change how you feel -- but I do think it's important that we at least be civil with one another for xx's sake.';
That's all I said, and I walked back inside. Slowly, i started to see change. Today, it's at the point where if the phone rings and I pick it up, she talks to me and doesn't ask for my husband. More times than not if she needs to send us a quick text for something she'll text my phone instead of my husband's. We get along well -- we're not friends, but we're friendly. In fact the 3 of us are attending a conference with our son's teacher (that's right, I say ';our.'; I'm raising him!) tonight, together. We respect one another and the position that each other is in. Maybe one day, your husband's ex will as well.
If that day never comes, then it never comes. My mother's husband has children, and their mother is a CONSTANT pain in the a** for them -- and his children are 14 and 19! It's very sad, but sometimes that's just the way things work. :( Hopefully everything will work out well for you, especially if you have that chat with her and it goes over well.
Good luck!
1 if he finds you fit to drive his daughter to school and back you are fine. The little girl can get in a car accident with him just as easliy so the mother is just being dramatic and trying to control the situation!!!!
#2 When you get with someone who has children you obviously get the EX too the best thing to do is just let your fiance handle the situation and try to stay out of it as much as you can. Only give your opinion if he ask. Just continue to drive her to school unless told otherwise
The mom is prob jealous of the special time you get to spend with her and maybe that you are more a part of her life then she thought and can feel threaten.
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