How to help kids deal with husband's deployment?

My husband is deployed and my children are old enough to understand that he is gone but still too young to understand how long he will be gone (they are 5 and 3). It has never affected them like it has this time and I am not quite sure how to explain to them when he is coming home. I have done the whole calendar routine and we have pictures up of him everywhere but every night at bedtime they tear up an start to cry for at least 30 minutes. I think it is because he would always make sure no matter what he would kiss them good night. Any advice?How to help kids deal with husband's deployment?
http://www.afterdeployment.org/ there is a section for how to help kids deal with deployment.





I would involve your children in making special art work and cards they can send to daddy.





There used to be a sesame street dvd you could get for free from this site also...http://www.militaryonesource.com/home.as鈥?/a>How to help kids deal with husband's deployment?
when my hubby was deployed, he would make sure to get on the web cam to tell the kids (5 and 2) this would always help because they were able to see him and talk to him. There is also a recorded msg ur hubby can do to send to the kids and you can save it so that you can play it every night. the FRG (family readiness group) is always ready to help family that need help to get through deployments.
You should have some kind of ';Family Support'; squadron on your base. All branches offer it, its just called different things. They have TONS of resources for you and your family to make this deployment as stress free as possible.
I can't answer this question completely but here a a few tips. Buy a few big brown envelopes and give one to each child. As they do art projects,drawing etc. Put them in the envelope and let each child mail them to their dad. By the big brown envelopes. Make sure you date them and if the child wants to send something sad that is OK. Make a journal. Staple some blank sheets of paper together Again always date the pages. At night have the children place a kiss on that page for their daddy. Keep the journal until he gets home. In front of the children write how they are feeling that evening. Oh, by the way lipstick is great to make impression on the page. You said you a used calender. What about a chain like you make for Christmas. Taking off a chain each that day as the time gets closer. Buy some disposable cameras{cheap} let them take their own pictures. Your younger will need some help. To calm the children down compose a funny bedtime story about their daddy. You can then type it up and read it back to them...Good Luck
Yes sometimes some people forget how hard the little ones can actually take it. Here are some things we did and do with our girls when daddy deploys:


-have daddy read some stories on tape so that the kids can pop it into their radio and listen to daddy read them the story with their book.


- Every week my girls get a manilla envelope and decorate the outside. Then they put in the things they have been doing that week weather it be colored in pictures, any school work, copies of report cards or progress reports, family pictures, etc.,. Then we would put this together every Sunday and then mail it off on Monday. The flat rate envelopes are a good size to use for this.


-Make preaddressed envelopes with daddy's address once he gets one) and your address with a stamp (remember it only cost a regular stamp to mail a letter to a soldier in Iraq). Then when ever your children want to write daddy a letter, then can do so. Then they can put it into the envelope by themselves and then the 2 of you can walk to the mail box and let them put it into the mailbox.


-put a map up and put 2 stars on it. One where daddy will be and one where you guys are. This helps them with location


-put up two clocks. Make one with time where you guys are and the other time where dad will be. This way your kids will know what time it is where daddy is. Then you can ask 'What do you think your daddy is doing now'; '; do you think daddy is eating dinner now?'; Remember they will be about 8 hours ahead of us depending on where you are at now.


-Get some pictures of ';daddy'; and then let kids paint their own picture frame. Then put in a picture of just the one child and daddy. And put this by their bed or on their dresser.


-While daddy is gone, let the kids and you put together a scrapbook. They can take pictures themselves of anything. and let them put the pictures in the scrapbook. This can be funny. When we did this my 3 year old at the time took pictures of clouds, the moon, ants, grass, a basketball, her bedroom door knob, etc., and of course I told them that we would put them in. Hubby thought this was the greatest thing. Then send this to him. You can send him many throughout his deployment.


-These are a few ideas. We ended up getting the daddy dolls, didn't like how much they cost at first but I believe it helped my younger one get through her first deployment.


http://www.hugahero.com/index.php


http://fabricfamily.com/


http://flatdaddies.com/


Yes, all of these are expensive but worth it. We got a daddy doll (eventually got my other 2 daddy dolls and at the time we got the free flatdaddy, now you pay for them, not sure if I would pay that much for a flat daddy but I would the daddy doll). My little one got a daddy doll and she would sleep with it. Eventually, ';daddy'; was eating dinner with us, going on trips with us (of course we took pictures to send to him), and even went to the beach a few times. Although I wouldn't let her take him in the water. She did get a bit upset over that one. :)


-for major holidays or days that daddy likes, let the kids and you buy some stuff for a care package, and turn it into a themed care package. I have a few websites that I can pass on for that. For Christmas let them pick out a small tree, let them homemake decorations for the tree, etc., Send them Christmas in a Box or whatever holiday it is.


-Let them help you make some cake in a jars and let them choose what cake to bake. I have info on this if you email me.


-Amazon has some great books on kids and deloyments. We have brought quite a few.


http://www.survivingdeployment.com/ another site


-Put together a hug or kiss jar (hersery kisses or hersery hugs) and right before bed before they brush their teeth, they can can go to the jar and get a ';kiss'; from daddy. Daddy can even be the one to explain this to them. Have enough in there to do the whole year so they will see as it gets empty, daddy will be home soon. Of course throw in extras because we all know the military.


-buy a webcam for both of you. First you will have to see if where he is going will have this access and if so, hook them up and let the kids see daddy while he is gone.


-let them have their bad days but don't let their bad days make them bad, if you know what I mean. They have feelings to and will be upset. Let them know it is okay to cry but to keep going. We as spouses have bad days, so why wouldn't our kids?


-Go out and do things with them. Don't sit at home because daddy is not there or you are upset because daddy is not there to do it with you guys.


-when daddy is getting ready to come back or home for R%26amp;R, let the kids plan the ';party'; let them choose the menu and let them make the decorations.


This is all I can think of for now.





Hope you are doing well. It will be hard but you will also have good days.