Monday, August 16, 2010

How do I deal with a husband who is depressed and has his priorities in the wrong order?

my husband got an honorable discharge from the air force back in sep of 2008. ever since he has been depressed. he makes lists of things he needs to do and buy but nothing on those lists contain providing for me (his wife) and our 20 month old son. What can i do to get him out of this rut and on the right track? he doesn't seem to want counseling.How do I deal with a husband who is depressed and has his priorities in the wrong order?
This is a major change for him. He needs to transition. Counselling would be good but don't force him. I know you are busy with a small child and that responsibility can take its toll on patience. Try to be supportive and talk to him calmly to see if there is something going on you may not be aware of. If you are doing a good amount of complaining, it could be creating stress. Maybe it would be a good idea for both of you to sit down, communicate effectively and get some things out in the open. This could be just a mix of unmet expectations and ineffective communication. Talk and LISTEN. Seek professional help if necessary. Best of luck 2u.How do I deal with a husband who is depressed and has his priorities in the wrong order?
I think YOU can play a big role in his turn around.


As annoying and fustrating as it can be to deal with a spouse who is depressed and dosent want to do anything it can also bring a greater and deeper connection as well as a BETTER relationship between the two of you if you have the patience to deal with things WITH him..


It may be hard considering whateva on his list does not include you but once he begins to notice that your doing whateva it takes to help him eventually he'll see that and he may change his list altogether to a list that involves the both of you. his priorities will change once he see's the change in you.





all the best.
Hi Kittycat,





Tell your husband that one of the best ways to combat depression is to help other people. When we are depressed we become self absorbed in our own problems and this intensifies the depressed mood. When we direct our focus to things outside of ourselves we feel better. Also, tell your husband that once he sees the rewards of his effort to help you and your son (e.g. son starts to develop, you feel happier), he will feel happier knowing that his work has improved the lives of two people close to him.





I hope this helps.
Admittedly, you say he is depressed. Are the items on his list kind of ';dreamy';? What I mean, is that are they more fun/fantasy items/activities? If so, I think then that the lists are a way of escapism. He sounds very stressed and you say he is depressed. Sometimes, when people feel like this, they start feeling that purchases and fun things will 'fix' the problem with them, so try to not take it personally if that is the case. Also, have you been letting him know that you love him and appreciate him? Although women often complain about being taken for granted, it happens to men, too. If he refuses counseling, or any kind of medication for short term use, then if you love him, you're going to have to ride it out. Be patient and even if you treat him well, try treating him bit better
I so understand your story. My husband got into a slump and I seriously thought we weren't going to work out. We are still working through everything but one day I left.. I told him I wasn't coming back until he tried to do something for this family. He went to the doctor and got on Prozac. He isn't exactly ';happy happy happy';, but he isn't sitting around depressed either. It has really helped us out. We talk a lot more now, we work things out, and if we are fighting, I don't let him sleep until it's solved. Pots and Pans come in handy at this point.





Best Wishes!
Well I think he does need counseling, weather he wants to hear that or not. I have suffered with depression most of my life and it sounds like that to me.





Depression can cause fatigue, loss of interest in things you once enjoyed and loved and mood swings/mood changes...





if he doesnt get help soon he may become worse. Please try talking to him and maybe he will realize he needs help.





answer mine please :)


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
my husband has never been in the military, and he doesn't have anything on his priority list for us, but for his family and himself, whenever they want something.
Then you should go to counseling to avoid being caught up in a rollercoaster of emotional rides only to find you can't get off
there re very good medicines u know
This is very simple.....he needs to decide if you wants you or not!
then leave..cause he's not gonna change. You can't make him do anything.

No comments:

Post a Comment