I need suggestions on how to help my 9 year old son deal with my husband and I getting a divorce?

The divorce was unexpected and my husband walked out with no explanation. He is paying child support and seeing his son every other weekend. But my son is very emotional and is having very hard time.I need suggestions on how to help my 9 year old son deal with my husband and I getting a divorce?
Divorce is very traumatic for children. Make sure he knows you both love him. Never, ever say anything negative about your ex in front of your son and you ex should also never ever say anything negative about you in front of him. The two of you must remain on a civil basis anytime you interact to avoid making him feel like he is caught in the middle or has to choose sides.





Also, get him into counseling. He has feelings that he will never express to you or your ex and he needs to be able to express them so he can accept the divorce and move on. The counseling won't be a life long committment, just long enough to help him deal with all his emotions regarding the disintegration of his family.





Also, I am so sorry for the breakup of your marriage.I need suggestions on how to help my 9 year old son deal with my husband and I getting a divorce?
Show him that you're in control and make him feel that his future is predictable. When I got divorced, it was sort of sudden - from the time he filed for divorce until it was final was about 3 months - but I continually told my kids (my daughter was almost 9, my twins 6) what was going to happen and that everything was going to be OK. They felt like I was in control and got through the (very ugly) divorce very well.





I am now happily remarried.
Make sure that your son knows that you both love him very much and won't let anything happen to him. Also tell him that he can tell you anything about what he feels like about the divorce. My parents got a divorce a while ago, and I felt comfortable that they wanted me to tell them what I feel like and when I needed advice. Tell him that you both love him very much, and he will feel a lot better. He will get used to the divorce soon, and he will feel comfortable with both of you loving him and helping him through this tough time for him.
ditto what the first guy said and make sure dad continues to see the child every other weekend.
make sure he knows it's not his fault and that both parents still love him.
TALK TO HIM AND MAKE SURE HE KNOWS ITS NOT HIS FAULT THAT MOMMY AND DADDY CANT GET ALONG ANYMORE AND THAT U BOTH LOVE HIM VERY MUCH
There are programs available for children of divorced parents that he could go to. It will help him express his feelings and see that other kids feel the same way.
be honest with your son, but do not, under any circumstances, put him in the middle of your divorce. Do not criticize or attack your husband to him, no matter how you feel about the matter. This will simply make your son feel like he has to choose which parent to love more and it is extremely psychologically damaging.





Also, if possible, it might be better if your son saw his father more often.
I see this is a bad situation for both you and your son. Your husband walking out on you without any explanation was very wrong, first of all. You should not show your child how you feel about this situation. In private, you can cry, yell, scream...do whatever. But now you son has to have security.


If your husband is willing to talk to you calmly and rationally, you both should sit down with your son and have him (your husband) explain the situation. Let your son know that you both love him and always will. Dad will just be living somewhere else and give your son his father's phone number so he can contact him anytime he wants. This may also comfort him.


You will have to remind yourself that the problem is between you and your husband. Even though your husband has acted in a childlike way, doesn't mean you have to. Remember you want a son who will grow up without emotional problems which occurred during this time. Tell him you are willing to talk to him ANYTIME about this. You do not need to let him in on the adult details, but explain at his level. Let him ask questions. In fact, encourage him to ask questions. This may help his understanding of why parents separate/divorce. Good Luck to you and your son.
that happend to me 2 let him talk to his dad every night andlet him see his dad if he is done with his homework and tell him every thing is all right