How do I deal? My husband is normally supportive but now that I'm pregnant, he's a jerk.?

I'm three months pregnant. My husband and I both have a child from a previous marriage. We've been so extremely happy. We talked for 3 years about having a baby together. He really, really wanted a child together.


Now that I'm pregnant, he's turned into a jerk. He says stupid and inconsiderate things like:


';It's just labor, you've already been through it, so I don't know what the big deal is'; when I show him a book on how to help a woman through labor


';You're looking large.'; ';You have a baby layer of fat.'; (I've actually lost weight from eating healthier)


';Couldn't you have gotten more done around here while I was gone?'; (I am having extreme fatigue, the house is clean and tidy).


He also neglected to get the bloodwork done for our genetic testing (I have a previous medical condition so it's important to know this information). I was just about to call the doctor and be upset about why they never notified us of the results, when my husband told me he just didn't do it because he thought there was a deadline and since he'd missed it, he just threw the papers away.


He is also arguing with me about silly things like the history of the Roman Catholic church (we're not Catholics). He got upset and walked off at the grocery store, leaving me trailing behind trying to catch up to him. I was reading a magazine in the checkout aisle while he paid and I didn't notice he had gone -- he was already at the car loading groceries by the time I noticed and ran to him.


I got the flu very badly and he got me up out of bed to help him move a 100-pound desk and wrap the kids' presents. I told him I was ill and needed to rest but he told me it wouldn't take long and kept asking me to do it.


When I tried to talk to him about all of this in a calm way, he blew up. I persisted over several days and finally he told me that I'm being over-sensitive. He says there's nothing wrong with the way he's been acting -- it's all me and MY skewed perception. Then a few days later he denied saying that. He says he's happy to be having a baby and really wants the child. What on earth is going on?How do I deal? My husband is normally supportive but now that I'm pregnant, he's a jerk.?
That is a great question, I have been through the same thing. I knew when I was pregnant with my last baby and this pregnancy cause of my husband's attitude but after a couple weeks it blows over. Talk to him and hang in there, it will blow over. GOOD LUCK and Congrats on ya baby!How do I deal? My husband is normally supportive but now that I'm pregnant, he's a jerk.?
Sounds like the beginnings of emotional and verbal abuse. Look it up.





Drag his butt too marriage counseling, but make sure the counselor is well versed on abuse issues.





Let him know that this behavior will lose him his family and then stick to it. Now that you are pregnant, he thinks you are more dependent so he can be a jerk and you are stuck.





Don't think kindness will change him. If you are too nice, he will just get worse.
Your hormones are very strong, and may be affecting him as well. He was great until you got pregnant, right? I am assuming he is a great dad to his kids too. So you need to look at the whole picture. If he were the one pregnant, with hormones, would his actions be such a problem?





Also, take an honest look back at your relationship. Has he always been something of a jerk, but not as bad? Maybe you are more sensitive, and noticing it more. Perhaps he has always been a jerk and you just didn't notice. Perhaps he is remembering his first wives pregnancies and very distressed over it.





His first wife may have been a very strong woman who didn't need his help. So he doesn't think you need to be pampered too. Give him a chance to be his normal self, but if he doesn't straiten up, give him the boot.
Get to the bookstore and find a book that tells about what a woman goes through in pregnancy. He needs to see what you are dealing with from another perspective.


I wish I had a solution to the selfishness he is showing though.
sounds like he is having second thoughts. tell him to man up do the crap himself and stop being an jerk. you sound like your being to nice letting him boss you around while you are sick. I would have told my husband to do all that stuff himself with few extra words that are not polite.
Sounds like you're hormonal and not thinking all the way rationally. You are being over sensitive in my opinion..but it is natural for a pregnant woman.





He wants to have you and the baby...he just doesn't understand how to deal with you in this hormonal state. I'm sure you had disagreements before the pregnancy...you can't expect him to turn into this perfect, super nurturing, mind reading guy just because you are super sensitive right now.





Try some relaxation exercises, breathing etc...anything that will relax you right now. And try to go easy on the poor fella.
he wants you to be un pregnant, healthy and fit, so when you have the baby don't slop around for 3 mo. asking him to do things, like if it was me i would have gotten the blood work done, its my body [or whatever the tests were for]


i had 4 kids, always neat and trim, house immaculate and hot healthy meals every day, these days girls talk about 'hormones raging' what a lot of baloney, me and all my friends and all my relatives did it all, but i din't do outside work. btw--plus i took in foster babies!