How can I deal with husband who is obsessed with his hobbies?

My husband and I have been together for several years. Both he and I work full-time in a large city. We have long commutes so our time together is restricted to two or three hours each evening.





In the past year or so, he has become engrossed with motorcycles. He joined a motorcycle club which he spends most weekends a month with. He is constantly ordering things for his motorcycle or ';the lifestyle,'; and honestly I find some of those fashions pretty repugnant. When we talk lately, it seems the only three topics are work, chores/things to do around the house, and his motorcycles. We rarely speak about things related to ';us'; anymore, such as planning a trip or things to do together. In the past month the main point of concern for him is how he is desperate for his annual bonus to buy a new motorcycle or invest the money in his current motorcycle. We tried talking before about splitting the bonus money between his use and a trip for us or paying bills/debts, but he seemed to resent the compromise. He just talks about spending it all on one bike.





I love him, but I feel like I'm #2 to this obsession. What do I do?How can I deal with husband who is obsessed with his hobbies?
Tell him since he thinks so much of his motorcycle he can have at it. Use your share of the money to go on vacations by yourself.How can I deal with husband who is obsessed with his hobbies?
Offer a ';motorcycle trip'; and go on a ride with him! ! !





Then go with him on his weekend rides! Not every weekend but a couple times a month!





Enjoy his hobby with him, instead of letting it ruin your marriage!
Get as interested in them as he is, and demand he get you one., He will balk. IOn that case, divorce him on cruelty and abandonment grounds.





Another option:LGet you own obsessions. These will show you there are Good guys out there not self absorbed, and Again, you will get a divorce.





Husband needs a ton of professional help...and maybe you too.
Umm if this guy is going to the gym more then spendingf time with you!! trust me.. he aint going to the gym for the hobbies and it aint the women either... Experianced some things!!
Show some interest in motorcycles and/or get naked.
Marriage is all about compromising. You guys really need a good talk first.
Get your own hobby.
find your OWN hobby, maybe?
Can you become a biker chick? If not, you can just do what most women do which is harrass their man relentlessly to give up their favorite hobby until life becomes a tiring charade of never ending nagging. Men pursue hobbies because things have become stale in the relationship and work is not satisfying. How is his job going? Have you inquired as to what else may be bothering him? When women say ';us';, they mean ';them';. I don't know what the solution is, I'm just giving background information.
become his hobby
For whatever reason, the motorcycles have filled a need in his life that wasn't being filled before. Yeah, you have become #2 for the time being, and it isn't right. It's not as if you want him to give up bikes totally, you just don't want to be second place.





I'm not sure what you can do. Nagging certainly won't work. An ultimatum might, but he will only resent you.





It's a tough situation that can only be remedied through a lovig approach and your knowledge of who he is as a person. Don't get me wrong, you need to be firm, just loving at the same time. A wimpy approach won't work, he will ignore that.