Monday, August 16, 2010

I can't deal with my husband's baggage and family anymore,HELP!?

If your reading this please understand that I' just being honest and addressing my true feelings even though I know what I'm about to say is pretty much ';socially'; unacceptable...BUT...please help me 'cause I absolutely adore my husband and would love to live a happier life!!! So here's the deal....my husband and I recently got married and had our first son(we've been together 7 yrs). He has an 8yr old son...how's the apple of my in-laws eyes!!! When I first got together with my husband i know he had a son, but I ingnored him, wouldn't take about him with me, and wouldn't even acknowlege the child in front of me! This child was the end result of a stupid 19 yr. girl and my 17 @ the time hubby...basically a high school fling...but some say she got prego on purpose to keep my dh. Well, obviously he didn't stay. So eventually years went by and finally when my ss was 5 I made my husband start acknowledging his son, even though I was completely against what I truly wanted...and that was for him to just ';sign him completely over to his bm-out of the picture...i know I'm mean'; but I didn 't want have to live with that fact that my hubby may someday recent me for not seeing his son. I've always felt that my in-law have blamed me for the first few years of my hubby not being in this childs life....when in reality it was my hubby and I made him start seeing his child. Well, know we're married and have a baby boy...I'm sooooo unhappy I want my hubby all to ourselves....I can't stand my step coming over to my house just to relay info back to his mother, or his mom calling our house to take about step son with my hubby, walking up to us whenever she spots us, etc. She even showed up and the hospital when I had my son, she was supposed to have call from the lobby, but no she just came on up to my room!!! BM also puts ideas in step sons head for us ';ALL'; to have one big bbq....she's so on my last nerve. she's always trying to act ';nice'; in front of us like she's only in it for the best intentions of her son, however I think differently. I think she's recentful towards me and my husband for loving me and being so good to me!!! Then my in-laws....the still have pictures of this girl(mind u there's put away...but still) and they talk nicer to her then me, in my opinion. I don't view the bm as a threat at all...but I do see her as a huge pain in my butt!!!! It's so annoying to have to see her all the time and her about her. This just feels so not normal. I wish I could have a normal life with my hubby, but I know that I have to deal with bm and ss, and the inlaw's and their old pictures of her....should I leave this marriage now or what. I'm torn....honestly I totally recent my poor step son and my in law for being sooooo nice to his mother!!! I ready for the answeres to come PLEASE HELP....why do I feel this way, honestly I do feel jealous(first time i've admitted that one)...is it right that their still hang'n onto those picutes of the bm????I can't deal with my husband's baggage and family anymore,HELP!?
You're a selfish child. He had a child before you came along, that child should have always been a priority over you, and always should be. He didn't ask to be born, and too frigging bad how you feel about it.I can't deal with my husband's baggage and family anymore,HELP!?
Wow, thats a lot to take in at once, um you love your husband and it sounds like he loves you just as much, heres the thing, your married and that means that your first priority in life is him, even before your child. So talk to him, if you don't want that woman around make it known. The relationship is you and him, not you him and his parents and his ex. Talk to the preacher that married you, before my preacher would agree to the ceremony he had the you and your husband talk with us, I can't do it justice.
Thank you for being sincere. It's hard accepting a child,when he is not your own. But can i ask you something. Why do you hate the step son and your in laws? Just because your step son was in the scene before you, doesn't mean that your husband doesn't love you. He married you, not her, that means he likes you not her. SO please remove any feelings of jealousy. Second treat your step son with love, I know I know it's hard, he isn't your flesh and blood. But he is being manipulated by his mother, you should love him equally.


Your situation kind of reminds me of an historical similarity, King Henry the 8th and his daughter who repudiated him.
you need to ask God to step in your life. i feel the same when i Just move in with my going to be husband and i think he wish he would not have ask the marry ? so give it time it will all work out ok
You should divorce your husband and do him a favor you are selfish and you ignored his son I hope they make your life a living hell from now on and you deserve what you get
wow omg i really think you need to sit down and speak with your hubby! you cant go on like this it will tear your family apart!


so act NOW


as for the inlaws im in the same boat really


im having probelms with my patners ex as they have a son together


yes its so hard but if your hubby loves and cares for you he will try and sort this MESS out





I WISH YOU THE VERY BEST AND GOOD LUCK
At the end of the day your step son didnt ask to be born, he was and wether you like it or not your husband is his father, your son is his half brother. The mother of your step son is still the mother of your inlaws grandchild and they are just as much your childs grandparents as the step sons grandparents.


It is only natural to feel some sort of resentment but it isnt going to change anything. As for you thinking the mother is trying to act nice even if you both hate each others guts you should be civil to each other because you are bound to her through your son and hers. Have you ever stopped to think how you would feel if it where you in the situation of the other mother? and someone resented your child because he wanted to see his father and grandparents? Sorry if that was harsh at all but i really think you need to step back and look at it from all sides.
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