Friday, August 20, 2010

How do u deal with a husband who is verbally abusive to you and hates your family for whatever reason?

This may be a weird question, yet would like to know methods of approach other than divorce. Thank youHow do u deal with a husband who is verbally abusive to you and hates your family for whatever reason?
Don't know that there is any other solution but divorce.... unless you stay and take it....








Marriage is respect, admiration, passion and trust. He doesn't respect you (or your family), certainly he as no admiration for you, (or them) if he is verbally abusive, the sex has gotta be teriffic if you're still there, but do you much trust him???? If all you have is sex, all you have is a live in boinking buddy, and quite frankly, don't think that is much..... you can find that anywhere.


Marriage takes work, compassion, caring, giving, time together, kind words, solving problems without rage and without trouncing on the others' ego.


Do you have any of these?





It involves spending time together, and sharing experiences --- plays, symphony, concerts, times in the park, at the zoo, on vacation, or without the kids in front of a fireplace...


Do you have any of these?





It involves agreement on how extra time and money is spent, and creating a loving environment for children, should you wish to have them.... and that is a choice made together with great consideration, since each kid will cost you $250,000 to rear it to age 20, with no guarantees that your efforts will yield a kid who will even like you.





Right now, it appears you don't have much to loose by going to a few sessions of counseling to see if you even have anything besides a financial arrangement worth saving. Life sure as hell is too short to spend it trying to bail out more water than you are taking on.......How do u deal with a husband who is verbally abusive to you and hates your family for whatever reason?
Sorry to say, but there are no other methods. If he loved and cared for you enough he would never abuse you [verbally or physically] or disrespect your family. My father was abusive. Especially if you have children, don't let them go through the pain of dealing with your relationship problems.
I would let him know that you deserve to be treated better than that and will not tolerate it. Seek counseling , if he will not go than your only alternative is divorce. Either that or have him go to the Maury Povich show and have the black guy yell at him. He has a lot of sucess with abusive husbands. Good luck.
I think you have to decide for yourself how much longer you will accept this type of treatment from your husband. I mean, there are a lot of men that don't like their in-laws, but for him to be verbally abusive to you would be the bigger issue if I were you. I did the whole abusive relationship for 9 years and all it got me was a bunch of bumps, bruises and absolutely NO self esteem.





If you are able to talk to your husband about the issue try approaching him and let him know that that type of treatment isn't respectful and will not be tolerated any more.





Good Luck.
You can try and discuss the issues with him. If that does not work, try counseling or talking to a trusted friend or priest. Maybe he does not see the things that he does hurt you because it was what he saw when he was growing up.
Divorce
He sounds like a very angry person. What is he angry about? He is verbally abusive to you ..constantly? You need to point it out to him when he speaks nicely to you as an adult not a petulant child lashing out, that you appreciate the positive contact.





I suggest (if separation and divorce aren't to your liking) that you seek out a counselor to help you both deal with your communication skills.


Anger management skills may help him deal with why he hates your family and why he lashes out at you. Relationships are 150% from both sides.. if you find you are always giving in to him and apologizing.. there are serious issues of manipulation going on here... Is he hateful to your family because when you are with them you come back stronger?





DO NOT put up with ANY physical abuse! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY if this happens.. don't brush it away...or excuse it.





Best of Luck.
im sorry but divorce is the only approach that i see for you...
U dont. There is no reason for anyone to abuse the other. Verbally of physically.
You'd rather stay in an unhappy marriage, than get divorced. It's your decision. If he is abusive and hates your family, what hope do you have?
Separation, or Divorce,sorry
I really feel for you.but you need to tell him EXACTLY how you feel. That you are not happy ,feel left out of the marriage,hurt when he calls you names,ext......It sounds like you need to get some counseling,because his verbal abuse can lead to physical abuse

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