Friday, August 20, 2010

How can I deal with my husband's mood swings? (he is bipolar)?

My husband has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He is takenig medication and going to a therapist. We have also gone together to the therapist to improve our relationship but still his mood swings are really bad specially when his psychiatrist changes or adjusts his medication. I just want some tips to help me dealing with this in a better way. I get really mad and frustrated at him...We argue a lot...it is really hard for me.How can I deal with my husband's mood swings? (he is bipolar)?
I am a person with bipolar disorder, so please understand that the swings are not directed at you. He is getting just as mad and frustrated at himself because of them. Imagine being strapped into the seat of a roller coaster that never shuts off and constantly goes up and down. They are just something that happens and the medication won't cure them, but it will make them more manageable. Be there if he feels like talking, and give him some space if he doesn't. The key I have found is to remember that a swing isn't permanent and it will swing back given some time. Be proactive. Talk to the therapist about things you can do to help your hubby by changing the environment you both live in. Make mental notes about things that may trigger a mood swing for him and help him identify those things so he is aware of them too. Most importantly, and I mean MOST importantly, take time for yourself if things start getting to you. It is hard to watch someone you love go through something like this and sometimes you just need a break. Take a walk, see a friend, do something just for you to relax for a little while. This is going to be a learning experience for the both of you, but noone is going to expect either of you to be perfect in dealing with it. Go ahead and make mistakes, but try to learn from them when you do. Good luck!How can I deal with my husband's mood swings? (he is bipolar)?
If you start to keep a diary of his moods each and every day, you will start to detect patterns that can aid him, you and his doctor in treating him.





You will feel more prepared for his mood changes if you start to get some warning, and his doctor can more intelligently adjust his meds to help him. Monitoring his meds too to make sure he takes them consistently would be a good habit to get into.
WOW you got a lot of good advice on here. I'm going to recap what my hubby thinks is good (I'm the bipolar one)





Go to the counselor together and work out strategies like time outs, how to keep things from escalating, managing workload, etc.





Keep track of his mood swings and meds for him to help look for patterns. I'm a brainiac (had to drop out of a Ph.D. physics program because of bipolar, now totally disabled) but I couldn't keep a chart for the life of me. Just too unfocused and emotional or desperately catching up with chores and living when I'm in my good times.





If he's disabled, getting out into a social group is a great mood booster. Sitting around at home all day is toxic, even for introverts.





If he's really irritable, maybe that's a good time for you to go out with friends.





There may be day programs or support groups put on by your county if he is disabled. You could contact your county social services and see what there is.








When he's mean, he really doesn't mean it. I apologize profusely to my husband - my fits are almost always during PMS and he knows it - but he takes it personally anyhow, no matter how much he tries not to. On the other hand, if he tells me how difficult I am, I just want to go blow my brains out because that's what I want to do anyway, and that's just MORE proof how I am a bad, rotten, useless lazy good for nothing tick parasite on society, etc. etc. you get the point. I personally think it would be good for you to see your own therapist once in awhile, and go to those support groups from NAMI. My hubby won't because he's old school, sort of, and besides, it's a 60 mile drive for us.





Good luck!!
Hi:


Well, It sounds as if you are doing as much as you can. I have Bipolar and I am aware of my mood swings, how I am making people feel and I have no control over it so then I feel badly and also very depressed over it.





I am sorry you are having these feelings but I can offer to you if you need to vent or just net a pat on the shoulder, what ever it is you need, let me know and I will do my best to help you.





myluvallen IM


myluvallen@yahoo.com email





Take Care
Bipolar people can be super hard to deal with, screaming, jumping up and down swearing at the whole world in anger. A friend of mine tells tall tales of adventure for hours and hours until he falls out from exhaustion. Then he wakes up and is ashamed of all he said and did during his episode. I live with him and I have to call a friend on the phone to cope with the suffering I go through. Once I had to leave home overnight for a week until he came back to the real world. He takes self esteem from me with his constant complaining about me and makes me feel worthless. He has said things that are unforgiveable. U have to have a lot of patience if u love someone with bipolar disorder. Remaining silent is the best solution for me, but then I erupt in anger after several hours of verbal abuse. I suggest silence as long as possible, so as not to aggitate him and make him worse. Good Luck!
I think it is really great that you are standing by your husband. Here are some things that you can do:





Make plans during stable moods for the actions you will take.


Talk to his doctor to keep up to date on his condition. Particurally mention the times his mood swings are really bad.


Ask about the signs of episodes. Learn to identify and prepare for them.


Take advantage of support groups. I've listed several below. Bless ya'll and good luck.





National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association (National DMDA)


National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association


730 N. Franklin St., Suite 501


Chicago IL, 60610-3526


800-82-NDMDA (800-826-3632)





National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI)


200 N. Glebe Rd., Suite 1015


Arlington, VA 22203-3754


800-950-NAMI (800-950-6264)


National Foundation for Depressive Illness, Inc. (NFDI)


PO Box 2257


New York, NY 10116-2257


800-248-4344


National Mental Health Association (NMHA)


National Mental Health Information Center


1021 Prince Street


Alexandria, VA 22314-2971


800-969-6642
Contact NAMI they have clsses for families to help deal with all kinds of mental health issues. There are support groups put there. Most people have no idea how hard it is for the family of a loved one with a mental health condition. Just type in NAMI.org and you will have all the assistance you need. Good luck.
It is never easy to deal with somebody suffering from a mental illness. First know that the mood swings have nothing to do with you.





Mental illness is tricky, it takes awhile to get the right medication, in the right amount. most meds take 4-6 weeks to kick in. Finding the right medication is trial and error. no one medication is the right one for everybody.





some things you could try to help you cope with it better. you could try journaling. write in it daily, anything that comes to mind. you don't have to write about anything in particular, just get the journal, pick up a pen, and start writing. you'd be surprised when you go back and read it what things might have found their way onto the paper, and when you look back on it you'll be surprised at the insight you can get from your writings.


you could see a therapist of your own. therapists aren't just for people with a mental illness. therapists do not heal you, they help you find the coping mechanisms you need to deal with things, and they are a neutral ear that will be non judgemental.





it's very very very hard to live with someone that is mentally ill, but it is an illness, and until he is on the right medication, in the right dose, things will not be easy. i wish you the best of luck!!!
BPD is a very debilitating disease for the sufferrer and their families. Until he finds the right combination of meds, it will be tough and require a lot of patience and understanding. There are all kinds of support groups. Find one in your area. I, too, have BPD and have to separate myself from people when I am cycling. This will really test your marriage, pray that God will give you patience and endurance and healing for your husband.
its very difficult my friends mom changed the way they eat low salt no fats and meat one time a week thats all my friend has told me but she said it helped try a nutritionist good luck

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