How to deal with husband's family?

My husband's sister is pregnant, they live in a small city, we moved far from our home. We have big financial problems, I lost my job, my husband works day and night. Suddenly the sister announced she is going to get married because of parents push them it is a shame she is pregnant without marriage. My husband's parents asked money to help supporting this whole party and everything, moreover we have to travel back home + i can imagine some extra costs for local habits on the wedding. The wedding will be 2 weeks before christmas, we planned to go home for christmas only, and we have to travel 2x now, to be able to see my family too, we have to come back after the wedding for work. They simply did not allow time for us to prepare for anything. I am very angry, that we are now in deep trouble going into debts again and stress, which has been anyway a major problem between us recently. He says it is not a question we have to support them and go to the wedding. I feel completely that we somewhere follow the parents' orders too by these arrangements. I cannot talk to my husband, and we are in big trouble. How should I make him understand, this is our life and no one should decide over this, not even this stupid wedding. I can understand him somehow he is under pressure but this forced wedding is going on my nerves.How to deal with husband's family?
People across America are suffering financially. Financial problems can break a marriage. If you cannot afford to go you cannot afford to go. If you are already having financial problems you folks shouldn't be going to see your family either. You're digging yourself in a bigger hole. By taking these two trips, I pass on them both. Travel is a luxury that you go when you can afford. Doesn't sound as if you can afford either trip. Going into debt for travel means you cannot afford either trip. If you seriously want your finances to get better then no credit card travel and neither trip is okay for you two at this time. You simply cannot afford it.





You sound like a young married couple, I will tell you truthfully and may be a bit blunt but if you want financial security I'd be passing on both trips. If you think it's bad now, wait till the bills from the trips start coming in.





This is the problem in America, people are spending money they don't have. It is making things harder for us who pay bills on time and live within our means because we ultimately pay the price by higher taxes and interest rates for those who don't pay there bills on time or eventually go bankrupt. I'm not saying you but this is a classic case of spending out of your means.





You both need to stay home for Christmas. There will be other Christmas vacations. I suggest you borrow a book from the library by Suze Orman or watch one of Oprah's money shows. People are swimming in debt and losing everything because something was more important than bills.





If I sound harsh I am, because you can stop this cycle if you so chose. The families on both sides may be upset but ultimately they are not supporting you.Since you lost your job if you have savings it is suppose to get you through till you find work again. Traveling and looking for a job don't seem to mix. A lot of places hire for Christmas season, this is your chance to get a job and work, not spending money you don't have.How to deal with husband's family?
I agree that you should go to the wedding, but that doesn't mean you should have to give any extra money for anything. If there are other arrangements for the wedding that you just can't put money on, don't. Tell them you will show your support and be there but you can't not afford any extras right now.


Don't travel two times either. If the wedding is only 2 weeks before christmas find some time to spend with your family while you are already there and explain the situation to them.
He is your husband... if he says the two of you are going, then the two of you are going.... you said you lost your job, so it is only him that is going to be stretched to thin... you might remind him of that and then stick by his side... is this really worth a fight to the end? or is it not?
If you just cannot afford to go just send them a card. Your financial issues are more important than a wedding, you can see them for christmas to congratulate them
oK I thought the father of the bride was to pay for the wedding? I mean I wouldve said well I wonder who's going to help us out when we dont have nothing because we where forced to help out I mean if they didnt have the money justice of the peace works. They will still be married. I never got along with my in laws but my mouth never failed me when I had to defend myself your husband needs I man up and say something its his family let him tel them because your looking like the bad guy regardless we always get the blame
You are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If money has been a source of stress and arguments between you two, then all this extra traveling and money gifts to the sister are going to bring you two even further down. It seems as though your husband is very sensitive about the situation that his family finds themselves in. If you say you cant talk to your husband, then i dont know what else you an do. Talk is all you have. I agree with you though. Its BS that you should have to support his sister because of her stupid mistake. ANd the parents are stupid to ask for money for this forced wedding. But since you are not making any money, it will be hard for you to push these issues with your husband. Tell him you dont want any trouble with money issues in the coming weeks. Then ask him, how are you two going to survive all the new expenses that are piling on top of your previously set plans. However, be prepared for him suggesting that you cut out the visit to your family.
1. you are not obligated to go to the wedding


2. nor are you obligated to send a gift, a nice card is good


3. dont put yourself in debt to attend a wedding that is shotgun


4. work on your situation at home before helping others


5. tell his parents you cannot afford to do anything right now and they shoud help out their child not you since they did after all bring her into this world








finally, them not allowing time, that is their emergency, not yours.





no one will come help you out of your financial bind, you can only help yourself