my husband is getting deployed and i have no idea how to deal with it. im so depressed and scared for him. not to mention we have problems so i dont even know what to think or what to do. how do i deal with this?? and how does it go. will i get to talk to him often etc? should i wait for him? we've been separated and started talking again but sometimes i dont know if maybe he has someone else waiting for him. i dont know. when we are together things are great but as soon as he leaves like from visiting things get rough and we tend to fight sometimes. i dont know what to even thinkHow to deal with husband getting deployed?
I am not so good with relationship issues but i do believe in that whatever you do make sure you have good strong morals in it before doing it especialy when it comes to relationships and just be honest. but whatever you do be sure to keep it privet in between you two so no rummors get started or people simply do not look down upon you or him
When it comes to coping with a deployment getting back into the daily grove of life helps its hard to do when your sad and stressed out but getting back into the routine of life helps alot. Keep busy set little deployment goals for yourself to do over the time he will be away and be sure to send him a small box of goodies once a month with pics and things to keep him going as well. Some deployment goals you can do is, Work, College the military offers benefits to military spouses for college, cooking there is alwayse room for improving cooking skils, arts and crafts alot of post offer lessons on sewing knitting and other things, organize your home and decorate it for a reasonable price,my favorite is building modle cars .
How to deal with husband getting deployed?
The best thing I can tell you is just be honest with him. If you love him tell him. My sister's boyfriend was in the military and they still talked. The way you can deal with this is maybe go see a therapist or talk to a good friend. And talk to your husband if you really love him. Plus every couple has there fights. Thats teh best way to put it. I hope you and him work things out. :)
You need to have a long talk with him first. It totally depends on his location and his job, as to how often you get to talk to him. If you fight after a few days or weeks apart, you'll have major problems if he's gone for extended period of time. You need to talk it out prior to his deployment.
Ok so you have issues but who doesn't? Be supportive and let him know how the family is doing. Keep in mind his mindset is most likely going to be to pick up right were he left off before he deployed. Oh and the most important thing. DO NOT PRESSURE HIM TO CONTACT YOU EVERYDAY! People will tell you to talk to each other a lot and everyday. That is a Huge mistake! You do that and you will find out that saying '; i miss you'; and ';i love you'; can get old and will lead to a lot of nasty fighting on the phone or over the internet.
Your husband is fighting for the greatest country in the world. Your husband is brave, your husband is strong, and your husband is well trained.
He'll be fine, I have three cousins in war right now, and they are really well trained.
Your husband will be perfectly fine, bare with me.
try talking to him alot, if he has a cell buy him a min. card or somehting or if money's not too tight then get him a laptop to take there, any way of communication is good. my dad just went to iraq and i dont have a mom and it will get really hard but if you talk to them a lot it wont be as hard i promise
i would just play it by ear. everyone has problems, especially in these situations cuz everyone is so stressed. so just wing it. be there for him,but if u guys start fighting suggest not calling til hes cooled off. or ur cooled off.
i suggest saying you luv him wait for him to come home whether in a coffin in a shirt with only one arm or in one piece but it sounds like you got problems to sort out after
Write him constantly, this might be good for the relationship if you are having problems because it is easier to express your self effectively through writing. Also invest in a good vibrator.
OMG The typical stupid military wife, to answer your question FACE REALITY, you knew what your husband does, get over it.
Just close your Eye and pray for him,god show him a right way.
Military Wives' 21 Best Tips for Dealing with a Spouse's Deployment
15. Stay strong. ';I'm a pretty independent woman, so that's what has helped me -- I believe -- get through deployments. I still send my man off with lots of love and smiles and reassurances that I can handle the affairs at home, so he need not worry about us.'; --reeseccup
16. Keep your husband posted. ';I write letters to my husband every day (we don't have access to phones or email this time) detailing what our daughter did that day, so he will feel like he's part of her day-to-day life. I take lots of photos of our daughter to send to him. It's difficult because at times it feels like our lives are 'on hold' until he returns.'; --erinnicolevan
17. Become a boardie. ';I keep in contact with other women through message boards, and that helps me remember I'm not doing this alone.'; --gargoyle89
18. Work out. ';It goes faster when I'm thinking, 'I only have three more months to get a body like Britney Spears (ha, ha)!''; --kelnelmo
19. Stay active. ';I have found it vital to have at least one regularly scheduled activity while my husband is gone. It becomes something to look forward to each week, which gives me little milestones along the way.'; --lizzbert2000
20. Be proud. ';I remember that he is gone not because he wants to be away from me, but because he is a terrific person and is dedicating his life to serving his country.'; --flyp3navy
21. Focus on other things. ';Keep your chin up. Find things to keep your mind off your loneliness. But avoid sappy movies, unless you need a good cry.'; --reeseccup
Military Families: 4 Steps to Prepare for Deployment
Practical matters, like paying the phone bill and checking the oil in your car, are the last things on your mind when your dear husband gets called to duty. But the demands of the real world will start to haunt you if you are not prepared to run the house solo. Here, you'll find four simple steps you can take to make your life easier while your husband is away:
1. Make sure you have a general or special power of attorney. This document, which can be obtained in the legal office on the military base, allows you to sign legal papers, write checks and handle other household matters on behalf of someone who needs to travel for extended periods of time or is ill. A special power of attorney clearly defines the tasks that you can handle on behalf of your spouse, whereas the general one gives you more access, according to the U.S. Army Judge Advocate General's Website. You should talk to your spouse and a legal adviser to decide which is right for you.
2. Pay the bills in full and on time. If you usually do not take care of the family finances, find out when all payments are due and around how much you'll need to save up for each. This will secure good credit ratings and keep you out of financial trouble while your husband is away. To avoid forgetting, keep a running list of bills you need to pay or sign up for online payment if it is available. In addition, you should know where to find your tax records and investment and bank account numbers.
3. Keep a list of emergency numbers, especially if you live in a foreign country. This will save valuable time in a crisis. Some numbers you should consider keeping by the phone are the police, local firehouse, paramedics and all of your family doctors. On many military bases, 911 either goes to base police or downtown. In foreign countries, there is usually a universal number. For example, in Germany, you can reach the German Polizei by dialing 110 from anywhere in the country. Other on-base numbers that might be useful include family support, military police, the American Red Cross, the base chapel, the 1st sergeant/commander, the orderly room and for urgent matters the command post. Housing often gives you a list of important branch numbers when you move in, so you might want to track that down now.
4. Take care of your car. Make sure it has good tires and a spare. Also, take it in for a tune-up and oil change before your husband leaves. With all of the other things on your mind, the last thing you need is for the car to break down!
The Military Wife
The good Lord was creating a model for military
wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an
angel appeared. She said, ';Lord, you seem to be
having a lot of trouble with this one. What's the
matter with the standard model?';
The Lord replied, ';Have you seen the specs on this
order? She has to be completely independent, possess
the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect
hostess to four or fourty with an hour's notice, run on
black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable
without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully,
even if she's pregnant and has the flu, and she must
be willing to move 10 times in 17 years. And oh, yes,
she must have six pairs of hands.';
The angel shook her head. ';Six pairs of hands? No way.';
The Lord continued, ';Don't worry, we will make
other military wives to help her. And we will give her
an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride
in her husbands achievements, sustain the pain of
separations, beat soundly when its over-worked and
tired, and be large enough to say, 'I understand,'
when she doesn't, and to say 'I love you,' regardless.';
The angel circled the model of the military wife,
looked at it closely and sighed, ';It looks fine, but it's
too soft.';
';She might look soft,'; replied the Lord, ';but she has
the strength of a lion. You would not beleive what
she can endure.';
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across
the cheek of the Lord's creation. ';There's a leak,'; she
announced. ';Something is wrong with the
construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked.
You are trying to put too much into this model.';
The Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of
confidence. ';What you see is not a leak,'; he said.
';It's a tear.';
';A tear? What is it there for?'; asked the angel.
The Lord replied, ';It's for joy, sadness, pain,
disappointment, loneliness, pride, and a dedication to
all the values that she and her husband hold dear.';
';You are a genius!'; exclaimed the angel.
The Lord looked puzzled and replied, ';I didn't put it
there.';
Author Unknown
Here are websites for Military Wives.
I thank you and your husband for the sacrafice you are making.
find and get involved with a wives group in your area as you will find lots of support. if you are not already, get involved with your church (chapel if your near an installation)
he'll want to talk to you as often as possible while over there and will be in contact with you via internet as often as he can.
I don't know what you are asking if you should wait for him. He needs more support now than ever so I'd say yes.
ask to see if he has someone else. at least you will know how to proceed.
I wish you the very best and once again, my thanks.
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