Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How do I help my husband deal with PTSD?

My husband got back from Iraq in October and is suffering from PTSD. Recently, he has said very hurtful things such as he just isn't happy with me... He doesn't know what he wants... and that he didn't really want to continue our relationship. He has apologized but admits that he doesn't feel BAD about the things he has said to me... He simply can not feel ANYTHING really. He has his first appoinment with a psycologist for professional help, but I want to know what I can do for him in the mean time... We both love each other very much but I feel like there is not much I can do to help the situation... Any advice from anyone who has gone through this? How do I deal with the hurtful things knowing that it isn't really HIM that is doing this?...How do I help my husband deal with PTSD?
I haven't gone through it but I hear how horrible it is. I am sorry that you have to go through this. I know it will be hard, but stand by him and keep telling him you love him. He has been through a lot and even though he is saying hurtful things he needs you more then ever. God Bless, and good luckHow do I help my husband deal with PTSD?
what u mean it isn't him really doing this ?





think about what that means and you will understand what I mean.


ofcource it's him.
THERAPY
They were just talking on the news about how so many soldiers are coming back just emotionally destroyed...you need to be really patient with him...I would recommend doing some on-line research about what you can do to more understand what he is going through...I personally don't know what to tell you, I just want you to know that this is NOT uncommon...





hang in there, it will get better...
all u can do is be there for him as much as possible. THese times are very hard and very hard for a man to admit that he is sad. Just take it a day at a time and wait to see if they have give him some anti depressants and such. I am sorry that you are going through it but be very grateful he is willing to recieve help! a lot of them are not.
just talk to to see whats going on. and work it out.
You can't help him, he saw many terrible things, his mentality is affection, only good psychiater can help him to return in peaceful life...
Maybe the Armed Forces offers some sort of mental health counseling to veterans. I know some Vietnam vets are still dealing with the images and horrors from that war, so there's no limit to how long this can last.





There's nothing you can do personally. Just make sure he can get the help he needs by way of a psychologist or priest or someone.
I feel what you are saying my husband just got back from Iraq , he does not tell me hurt full things but, everything I said bothers him,and he takes off. I want him to know that he is hurting me but he does not give me a chance to speak. He wants to be away from everyone in the family. I really miss my husband.
You can sign him up for psychotherapy, group therapy, and exposure therapy. He can also take anti-depressants.
it is going to be really hard, but you are just going to have to stand by him through this. I know a few soldiers that also have PTSD and they are not doing well at all. neither one of them want to get into counseling, for whatever reason, and all the war crap is just eating them alive. tell him that you would be willing to sit down and talk to him about what happened and that you want to know. one of my best friends is one of these guys. he talks to be a lot about what happened over there and what he thinks. by no means is it anything that i want to hear, but he gets it off his chest, someone listens to him, and i can better understand where he is coming from.
Depression in many people can cause people to turn into something they never wanted. I suffer from it but I am medicated and I am able to help myself from having to experience depression episodes. I had depression episodes where I could not feel anything and that made me want to self harm my body so I could feel again or I would feel like I was suffering from a flu virus that would never go away. Depression can cause different things to happen to different people. When I felt absolutly nothing I did not turn away from my husband because I realized it was the depression and sometimes an effect from the medication but I turned to self harm just to feel something in my body. Men are different and handle it on a different level. My husband has been to Iraq twice and goes again soon. I know how you feel with the stress deployments cause.
why are you assuming its ptsd? It sounds like depression to me. He could just be stressed. Men dont like to talk in general LOL But if you can get him to sit down and relax. I mean relax and to most men that means sitting propping the fee up with a pillow and breathing, and if he is hish stressed it means sometimes he might want to be alone. But, along with the professional help if you go to the self help section at the book store they have all kinds of workbooks to help yourself and they are gonig to have books on being the family member going through it with someone. I am interested in seeing what the psycologist diagnosis him with. If I was in Iraq for any period of time I would be dieing to get back to see my family. So, something is going on weather its ptsd or not I dont know
I've been through up's %26amp; down's after my husband came back from Iraq, after a year or so he really calmed down and was back to normal. You got married for better or for worse.....just stick it out %26amp; things will improve! All the best!
as a wife of a Vietnam Vet...be humble as much as possible...he's been through alot.


I know it doesn't seem fair that you have to humble yourself...but if you love him ...please give him alot of understanding....it is a long haul.


I have been married 40 yrs...don't regret a moment...but at times it has been difficult because of the emotional pain...physcial pain (from wounds recieved in Nam) that my husband has gone through.


He is lying in a chair at the moment..not feeling well and pain in his body that is there everyday and the older he gets the worse it gets...


love pays a major role in healing of the mind also...be there for him...


when angry words fly out of his mouth...put your arms around him and tell him you love him and respect him....if it is too explosive at the moment ..say nothing..then talk about it later when he is calmer.


My heart goes out to all the Veterans who have and will protect our country..they deserve more than they recieve from most.


and remember...';it really isn't him at that moment...it is the memory of pain and of battle';


pray for him also...God does still perform miracles...and I pray he will include God in his life...my husband did and he deals with life alot better now.


God bless and bless your husband for being a Veteran.....thank you.
You vowed to love him for better or worse, this is one of the worse times, just be there for him, take him to the doctor and continue to love him.


Take a course to learn more about it:


http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ptsd101/modules鈥?/a>
Remember that he is suffering from an injury and the hurtful things he says is a symptom- a little like Tourets syndrome. A good psychologist combined with a medical doctor should work wonders, but it will take time. To start with he will see things backwards-everyone else has a problem, not him. Anti-depressants and counseling will help. Support from those who love him will be immeasurable help in the long run- but it won't be easy.





The way you deal with it is remembering that the person you love is still inside of him- and he needs your help- now more than he ever has or will. I suffered through this and it took me years to get over it. But it started out horrible and got better and better as things went along.





He fought for you, now you must fight for him.
About the only thing you can do is make sure he gets to the shrink regularly this is a lifelong battle and only serious therapy will do the trick. Alot of the time he says things he doesn't necessarily mean to say them. PTSD can cause someone to say things and act in ways that are different from before they got affected by the PTSD. Just make sure he gets the psychological help he needs to function and be very supportive and don't take everything he says too literally in many ways it is the illness speaking.





God Bless and Best Wishes.
my advice is to just be as patient and understanding as you can-my husband had a mild case of ptsd when he returned from afghanistan and all i can really say is that it just takes time-keep the faith!
I have ptsd and am a USAF Veteran. Your husband is going to be fine as long as you can understand what he has and how to deal with it.





I am taking medicine and drink my beer and me and my wife go out and I fish and just stay busy most of the time and that was the biggest success for me dealing with ptsd. I was also in Saudi Arabia and it's something that doesn't bother me as much as my own personal problems that came in conflict with my illness.





So dealing with my problems first hand was the success to dealing with ptsd.





Finanical problems also make it hard to deal with ptsd so take it one day at a time and most of all be happy.
There is not a lot that you can do for him, but you can try to remind him of the time you spent together before he went off to Iraq.





Other than that, just try to be there for him and not discuss too much until he gets into therapy. He may be prescribed anti-depression medication.





My wife suffers from PTSD. She was physically and emotionally abused for 19 years in a relationship. She is on Cymbalta and it has greatly helped her.





Take care,


Troy
Wow, he's said some really harsh things to you. I'd consider moving out until he gets his head back on straight.

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