How can I help my husband deal with his non selection for a promotion?

He has been with the same government agency for more than 20 years and has been past over again and again. He cannot realistically find a replacement job at his pay level because he has very specialized job skills. He says he needs to feel that he can continue to move up in his career to be happy. He thinks this is not a case of just keep trying and that they most likely will not promote him due to their retaliation tactics for his past eeo complaints.





I told him he needs to not get so much of his self esteem from his job . And that maybe he needs a hobby or some creative outlet.





He says he feels like he is in a dead end job and that he is going to a cemetery every day. I told him that no one mistreats as him there and that he makes a lot (120 k ) and I am proud of where he is in his career. I hate seeing him down and I cannot think of anything to say to help him. Any suggestions?How can I help my husband deal with his non selection for a promotion?
Much of male self worth comes from the hunter-gatherer instinct. Is he using his wits to outsmart the prey and bring food home for the family. There are two ways to approach this:


1) Work on improving his success at work. It could be office politics, maybe he has not developed certain skills that would be useful. I have friends who have hired mentors - retired professionals they talk to once a week about work issues. It's probably that no one is taking an interest in his career path, Maybe he should take some time off to develop an alternative career path.


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2) The other approach is to get this sense of satisfaction outside work. Perhaps you could all go on a survival weekend. I'm not sure where you live, I heard of Canadians going into the arctic and building their own igloos. If you are in the UK there is the outward bound association. http://www.outwardbound.org/ I find just walking in the mountains gives me a sense of perspective on things,.


3) Finally working with underprivileged people in the community can make you thankful for what you are and give you a sense of status that maybe you don;t find at work. http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/fa鈥?/a>How can I help my husband deal with his non selection for a promotion?
Find the new job -- or better yet, create it.





If the writing is on the wall that he will not be promoted, finding another position is the most realistic thing rather than feel bad every day and then bringing that home to his family.





I would ask him how long he intends to feel sorry for himself before taking action.
Sounds like there is some definite political things going against him in the workplace. That certainly happens.





Men are almost always strongly defined by their jobs. It is a part of their make up. That isn't always true but it is more common for men than women to be defined by what they do in life to make a living.





He either needs to change the perception of this job or take a pay cut and change his profession. Staying the way he is now is not helping him and may actually shorten his life expectancy. I would advise him to talk to someone about this.