Monday, August 16, 2010

How to deal with husband who is wrapped up in his job?

My husband got a new job. He wakes up now stressed out, comes home stressed out, and goes to bed stressed out. In the morning when he doesn't respond to anything I or the kids say, I ask if he's already at work. Three weeks ago, I asked that he check on our health insurance cards because he is primarly on the account and they won't talk to me. He still hasn't done it (he says he hasn't found the time). He has a stack of job expenses that he hasn't submitted (a lot of money to us). He said he was going to do it a month ago, today he says ';it's just not a priority to me';. I asked if he will be able to get the lawn mowed this weeked, his response was ';probably not';. He promised to work on my daughter's science fair project with her but hasn't found the time.





How do I explain to him that we feel shortchanged without coming off as insensitive to what he is dealing with at work?How to deal with husband who is wrapped up in his job?
When he comes home and theres no dinner on the table,tell him it wasn't a priority. No clean clothes for him, You didn't have the time. And so on. Then maybe he'll see the picture. As for the health care, He better look in to it because he's gonna need it if he's that stressed out. Good Luck.How to deal with husband who is wrapped up in his job?
Dont worry about how HE will feel about you saying what needs to be said. Anyone that can not or wont separate work life from home life NEEDS an intervention. He is definetly short-changing his family and its not fair. The family should not have to endure the bull from the job. Sit him down and tell him he has responsibilities to the family and work and to find a way to balance them both because the family doesnt deserve the stress and want him to be a part of the family and not some stressed out, no time to do anything dad/hubby.
Well yes, he's stressed by the new job as every new job you have to pay a certain amount of ';dues';....working over-time, taking on extra work, basically doing the grunt work the boss doesn't want to do. However, he also has a commitment to his family. If he can't personally see to his chores at home (mowing the lawn) he should at least hire a yard boy to do it for him. Also, if he can't do the expense report, then can you do it for him? Does he have an assistant that can do it? Tell him that while you understand he has to work to feed his family, if he doesn't help you with things there won't be a family to support because you guys can't go on like that. Money doesn't grow on trees but if his expense report ';isn't a priority'; then he should not complain about the money you spend. For now, you work on your daughter's report because he's not going to. And as for the health insurance cards, that's odd because as his wife, you should be authorized to speak on his behalf. But if you really can't, again, tell him while he's busy at work, things at home are falling around your head and he HAS to help you by at the least giving you access to things (like health insurance and doing the expenses) so that YOU can at least keep up the pace until things slow down for him at work. But you know, his attitude is such that I would be totally pissed. I mean I could see if he said ';I'm really sorry, I know you are pulling all the weight and I'm slacking on things but this job is so demanding, please just give me a little time'; but his attitude is ';so what, deal with it';. I would say if that didn't change, and SOON, then you may have to think about some changes of your own. Good luck with that.
damn, that is a rough one. but i am thinking that i can't help but wonder what you are doing? i mean i know it can be hard when you are only one person but maybe you could try to show him how you are helping him. like get the lawn mower out and start to mow the lawn , be a little more independent. do you work, other than with the children, because i am thinking you could try to temporarily get into your work, like he does, and let him see how it feel when you call home late. or maybe get more involved in the children's lives by taking them to museums and things and maybe that can take your mind off things. my husband started that mess at work too, and i was pissed for a while, so i started staying out late, and honestly i had no where to go and nothing to do, so i just thought the whole thing was stupid of me because i went to the bar and had a few drinks all the time but that got boring because he didn't seem to care, so then i started staying at work later, and he still didn't care, so then i decided since i love to cook, i just get off at regular time 5pm, then go home start cooking a nice big meal, and have a few glasses of wine, and watch my favorite show which i own on dvd , smallville, and just relax. i started to enjoy my own company so much that i didn't even care if he came home or anything. i started art projects and sewing and hanging on our screened in patio. it was nice to reconnect with self.
Show him Yahoo! answers!





That helped distract me from my job!
it sounds like you should tell him how you feel. especially if he is putting your daughter off. I will work better that way, instead of you getting ticked off and then going off on him.
Pray about it.

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