How do i deal with my husband being away on deployment?

My husband might be deployed next year and i am terrified. I don't know how to deal with this. I feel like my heart is ripping inside out. I can't handle this. Army wives out there please help me!How do i deal with my husband being away on deployment?
Deployments are one of the worse parts of being a military spouse. In our ten years of marriage my wife has been gone for almost half of it due to deployments and unaccompanied tours. At the moment we are less than a month away from yet another year apart if she can't get her orders changed to accompanied, and let me tell you, it doesn't get any easier.





Communication is the first thing you have to work on. He may or may not be able to call much or have internet access very often, but most units try to arrange some kind of way to keep in touch. Then there is always mail, letters may not sound like much but it is better than nothing.





Second thing is to keep yourself busy. Don't isolate yourself from friends and family, they can be a key support during deployments. Work can also keep your mind occupied, but there is also school or volunteer work that you can do if you don't have a job. The more time you spend keeping your mind busy means less time worrying or focusing on how long he will be gone.





There are also plenty of programs offered by the Army through ACS and other organizations. Check around and see what is available at your base.





Truth is, I can only speak from personal experience here. I have taken the deployment readiness classes, been involved with ACS and various FRGs; but in the end it is still you alone at night in an empty bed. Your mind drifts to the worse case scenarios and you begin to wonder if it is really worth it. You may consider having an affair (most of us do at some point) or worry he might be having one. You learn to fear the knock at the door, praying it isn't a soldier in class As with the worst possible news. I wish I could say that it goes away with time, but it never has with me.





Avoid the rumors (and those that spread them) that inevitably come up during deployments. Find other military spouses that you can talk to and trust, I know my door is always open to others that just need someone to talk to. Don't put yourself in a position where you might be tempted to cheat. Find things that make you happy and focus on them. Finally, ask for help if you need it, there is no shame in admitting you are scared and getting help to deal with it. If you are religious, talk with a priest or pastor; army chaplains are good people to talk to even if you aren't religious. Don't bottle it up and think it will go away, use the resources that are out there to help.





What you must remember is why you married this man. Deployments end eventually, think of how it will be to hold him again. Look towards your future together, and take strength from those thoughts. The life of a soldier is hard, harder still is the life of a military spouse. This is part of that life and you are going to have to find a way to tackle it, or realize that you can't and move on. I don't mean to be rude about it, but I am being honest.How do i deal with my husband being away on deployment?
First of all it's not always easy but you can get used to it. You have a lot of things the Army will do to help you. First off you need to discuss with your sweetie if your going to work or go to school. It helps a lot when you go to school b/c your always busy studying and it helps keep your mind off the situation. Also Military One Source offers counseling for you if you need it and they're for you 24/7 nothing is to big or to small. Also make sure your affairs are in order get a Power of Attorney depending on what you need or want to be able to do and depending on what you want to do I would make sure that you get a Special Power of Attorney if you are moving or want to buy a house. I have a general power of attorney and I pretty much can do anything with this except buy a house. I personally wouldn't want to buy a house with my husband away but some girls would. I would also talk to an attorney or JAG which is Judge Advocate General. I want to tell you so much more but it's my bed time. I will keep you in my prayers as I hope you do the same.
Just calm down. Easier said than done but keeping calm is important. He will be fine, war is alot less dangerous now. Just keep him calm and shower him with letters and appropriate pictures and gift baskets. Let him see your calm and that will keep him calm. For you, just know he will be fine because he is trained to fight and live, not die. Oh and please be faithful to him thats the number 1 things guys worry about when bored on deployments, not saying you wont be. Good luck
first things first... dont let him see that you are stressed. all that will do is make him worry about you instead of focusing on his job.(sorry if that sounds heartless). but my sister is married to a soldier and im in the military myself and when you know that someone back home isnt handling things ok, it makes you worry. but, do the ';little'; things while he is gone. send him packages of stuff that you know will remind him of you and home. and while he is gone, spruce up the place a little so that way he has a ';suprise'; to come home to. when you talk to him on the phone/internet/letters, ALWAYS stay positive and try not to argue. now that you will have him ';taken care of';. you need to make sure that you have some good friends that you can rely on at your base/home. you may not think too much of having military friends now, but come time that your hubby leaves, they will be your rock. but until he leaves, take the time to spend as much time as possible with him and familty. you are already strong just taking on the ';job'; of being an army wife, show him and everyone else you have what it takes to do the hardest job of all... waiting. i wish you the best.
deployments are hard and i am 8 months into one. My husband is currently deployed to a-stan. It takes strength and knowing that you need to be strong for not only him but yourself. Keep busy find things to do that you would not normally do because you dont have time. Take the time before he leaves and just treat it like any other day but of course with extra hugs and kisses. dont stress and before you know it he will be home. i have a military significant other support forum and id be happy for you to join there are tons of women on there going through the same thing and you can share your ups and downs and even make some new friends in your area. www.unclesamsbrides.com
HI!!! i know how you feel.. my fiance just left for iraq on his second tour about 3 weeks ago... I was worried that things would get rocky, or maybe we'd lose that love connection since hes gone for a while... but honestly, things have been just the same, or as normal as they can be. He calls EVERYDAY (somtimes more than once). We've learned how to really just put things out there, how we are feeling, it has definatly caused our relationship to blossom and our communication to become the best its ever been. I try really hard to not worry, because when i worry it makes him upset and feel bad for being in the service. Every now and then we'll have a 'i miss you and im sad' pitty party via phone or skype, but we try to keep it positive and light. I know that when i am upset he cant take it, since his instinct is to make me feel better (in person) and he cant, i know it tears him up... So i keep myself together, put a smile on my face, and enjoy his smile and his voice. The little things we both took for granted, i enjoy the most. Dont count days, and keep yourself busy when the time comes for him to leave. It sounds odd, but when my fiance left for iraq, i treated our goodbye like a normal 'hey your going on vacation' bye... we hugged and kissed for a long time of course, but the more casual and light i acted the easier it was... then when he left, i allowed myself to break down and become upset. I was upset for about a week, off and on, and now im okay- im getting used to his schedule, and used to the skype and phone calls at all hours. You will be too... Once you get used to everything, you'll being to become more excited for when he comes home- not sad because he left... Time goes quickly, and what doesnt kill you will make you stronger, and thats what he needs- you have to be strong for him!!!!


oh and send him stuff :) that will keep you busy, spend time putting cute things together and sending snacks and pictures (make nakeds hahahaha)... goodluck to you and your man :) the sooner that day comes, the sooner it will be over.
first off, just know that every thing youre feeling is completely and totally normal. having a husband (or wife in many cases) deployed while youre at home waiting for their return is absolutely terrifying, but you ARE strong enough to handle it. the best advice i can give is this: if he might be deploying next year, then you have PLENTY of time to work through the emotions. talk to your husband about what youre feeling. layig it all out on the table and letting him know how you feel now is so, SO important, because you dont want to have to have that conversation while hes gone. if its his first deployment, then odds are deep down hes scared as hell too, and you both need to be open about it. if its not, then talking to him and having his input on what his job consists of and what exactly to expect (at least as much as he'd be willing/able to tell you) will help alot. no matter how much you prepare before he leaves, you will still be scared, and lonely, and worried while he's gone, im sorry to say, but i doubt thats a big shock to anyone. dont listen to people who say you have to ';staystrong for your man'; and that ';you knew what you were getting yourself into when you married him'; we, as army wives, arent any stronger than any other woman out there, we just choose to live a lifestyle that most women arent brave enough to tackle. youre husband doesnt expect you to be stone cold about him leaving, so knowing that youre not dealing well wont make it ay harder on him, hes already just as upset about being seperated from you as you are. i dont advise bawling your eyes out and begging him to find a way to come home every time you speak to him while hes deployed, bu you dont have to put up a blissful front either. instead, treasure the time you get to talk to him when hes gone, and the time you spend together before he leaves. make it special. if theres anything the two of you want to do, and can do, then do it, dont put it off just because. make amazing memories before he leaves. and try as much as possible to emilimate anything that will cause extra stress once hes gone, be it family, budget, or whatever. sit down with him and get a plan, that way there arent any unexpected speed bumps when hes gone. esp. when it comes to money, 2 people on the same income, on opposite sides of the world can wreak havoc on your finances. and more than anything else. surround yourself with people who support you. there are MILLIONS of military wives all over the world dealing with the same issues you are, reach out to them, we're all very friendly :) also, theres a ton of information on the FRG website, as well as groups on any base the website is www.armyfrg.org, your hubbby will have to set up the account so you can register and whatnot, but its a huge help! i hope this eases your worries, and remember, we're all here to back you if you ever need anything! good luck! and tell your husband i said THANK YOU for his service!